The Mernahuana Zone Top Ten Is Wrong

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It’s that time of year, when writers take time off to compile their 2013 favorite moments. For me it’s the most challenging assignment – I have hard remembering last week’s fun let alone January. However, The Mernahuana Zone producer DJ Goodwins has been working hard at getting our great cannabis content on to more digital distribution outlets.

No, we’re not on Netflix…yet.

The Mernahuana Zone is now available on iTunes, Soundcloud and YouTube, but not Netflix. There’s no reason to miss a Tuesday webcast because you can now download an episode to your smart device and listen at your leisure. Our webcast has made some great improvements and I believe being on iTunes and Soundcloud is going to prove huge in 2014.

DJ Goodwins has gone through a year of material, which allowed him to compile a list of his favorite TMZ moments. It’s a very thorough list, but missing three of my own picks. All three picks rank very high on my year end list, but his own picks are fantastic too.

Every week on our webcast we bring three hours of fantastic content – it’s easy to overlook stuff. Hence the reason I hate making lists, but here’s three interviews DJ Goodwins missed.

The Jeremy Taggart interview was pivotal in proving our webcast could attract quality non-cannabis interviews. We reached out across the Twitterverse and he agreed to come on down. His Glen Danzig impression is probably one of our funniest moments. Who knew Taggart knew a member of Potheads Who Smoke Schwag from back in the day?

Best, Taggart performed a drum roll on 4/20 the day hell actually froze over. It was epic. If you missed it – too bad.

We followed up Taggart’s interview a few weeks later with Fucked Up Damian Abraham, who’s really into cannabis strains and the culture marijuana enthusiasts create. Damian also rushed the microphone on us when we interviewed Val Venis. It was like another wrestler running in to get involved in a match. Damian’s got mad skills too from his gig as host of The Wedge.

We held our own thanks to heavy toking. Our secret is high tolerance. We blaze heavily while conducting interviews because we’re excited to have a great guest on our webcast. I really enjoy interviewing guests because years of interviews has given me skills to ask the right question. Now people get to see what was happening behind the scenes on camera.

Adam Scorgie Matt Mernagh

We have so many guests say during their segment, ‘What a great question?’ that our new commercial is going to feature the quote ‘What a great question!’. We want to have an action packed show every week with guests, whether it’s in person, via Skype or pre-recorded.

However, The Mernahuana Zone tackles hard subject matter and it’s the reason Liberal MP Chrystia Freeland refused our advances. We’re friendly fellows and though it goes against journalism we do offer tepid guests our questions in advance.

We covered Rob Ford before he became internationally known that we declared a Ford Free Webcast when he became mad popular. I don’t know the mayor’s of any of other Canadian city, but residents well outside of Toronto know who our king is. Our politics is talk show controversial and viewers are encouraged to Skype us if they want to chime in on the topic we are toking about.

I’m really excited about The Mernahuana Zone possibilities for 2014. The new distribution outlets are going to create fantastic opportunity for a much larger audience. In case you couldn’t toke in live on Tuesdays, you won’t miss anything with our Soundcloud or iTunes digital distribution.

Why Toronto Mayors Should Never Have Power

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Something great happened during Toronto’s crack crisis – Mayor Rob Ford was stripped of all his powers and most of his staffing. However, he still holds the mayor title and chain of office and in my book that means he’s still the champ.

Toronto’s mayor has two important roles, putting councilors on boards and casting a tie breaking vote. To some extent the mayor controls the agenda via their inner circle, but council and staff have influence on agenda items.

Unlike Vancouver city council, Toronto city council is not governed by one political party. The mayor’s role is to build a consensus among councilors. These days Mayor Ford has few allies, but then he never really did to begin with. While he rode the Gravy Train, other councilors rode his popularity train.

Canada has plenty of useless political positions given to elites. The Canadian senate is extremely useless and Toronto city council just created another useless political position – mayor and it should stay that way.

The mayor’s position has been busted down to nothing more than a glorified Wal Mart greeter (and it should pay the same). Freed from the day-to-day humdrum of city hall, the mayor’s day should be filled with nothing but meet and greets, breakfasts, lunches, dinners and late night official city activities. Think Wal Mart greeter, but at the civic level.

Proclamations, like Bob Marley day, would be celebrated in the mayor’s office. Though Bob Marley day was and probably still is celebrated in Mayor Ford’s office every 420. The new vision for mayor and one city council has kind of created would be the ultimate booster.

Every parade, every tree lighting, every street party, the mayor would be there shaking hands and kissing babies. Oral sex would be permitted by relationship status posted on social media. People would feel good about an event because the mayor was there.

Since becoming a mega city Toronto favor mayors’ who get bold and trashy headlines. When they’re not in the news, people presume they’re not doing anything important. See David Miller’s term for proof. Mayor’s can’t quietly get things done in Toronto because hockey isn’t distracting the people.

Therefore Toronto needs a mascot and why not just turn the mayor office into said mascot. The chain of office is pretty freaking sweat. It does appear that’s what the people of Toronto want – an elected person who provides us much needed entertainment and international headlines.

Mernagh Is Remarkable

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Some of you already consider me a remarkable person and other’s may scoff at reading a headline Mernagh Is Remarkable, but it’s true. According to the pain clinic checkup I had recently I have the sparkle of remarkable. The doctor informed me I had to be remarkable to cope with the health issues I have.

My left shoulder could be at about sixty percent mobility, but it healed beautifully and I was very much dedicated to rehab. The shoulder and arm really hurt, but I am left-handed and most people would never suspect I’ve had a major injury, unless they punch, touch, or bump into my shoulder, then you may get an uncouth response from me.

I proudly tell every doctor who marvels I smoked marijuana before physio every time for pain management. The physiotherapist knew because I was open with her and probably had the wonderful odor of cannabis on my clothing. I’m happy to report this pain doctor was down with what I was saying. However, I wasn’t there to talk about either my shoulder, fibromyalgia or spine.

I’m prepared to accept my shoulder is going to give me grief because I am left-handed. I’ve lived with fibromyalgia for twenty years and it’s not like that’s going away.

These statements kind of confused the doctors, who said I should be there for all my pain. People are coming to the pain clinic reporting their pain at ten plus, while I said mine my fibro was at 5 or 6. Could be because I do have a high threshold for pain. 

Originally doctors believed my shoulder, which was smashed in a seizure, was just badly bruised and the x-ray was showing a previous injury’s scar tissue. Two days into my hospital visit I calmly told them, “I really don’t think my shoulder is connected to the rest of me.” A second analysis determined it was badly broken, not bruised and possibly needing replacing. The doctor set it as a break by taping my arm to the rest of me.

There’s not much you can teach this old dog about fibromyalgia…so I taught them something at the pain clinic.

“It feels like I’m being tenderized all over.”

That particular word isn’t on their McGill Pain Questionnaire, but should be. Feels like little gnomes are coming in the middle of the night and using beef hammers to tenderize my body.

Yes, the spine hurts too. Really hurts actually, but I do plenty of stretching. So, why am I here?

The agony from my schwannoma is really increasing lately and has started to become disabling. It’s not growing, but they’re known to sometimes pinch surrounding nerves. I believe this happening and it’s pulling me leftward. Probably for my whole life.

The doctor’s appear to agree and are going to conduct some tests to determine what the heck is happening.

Prairie Medicinal Harvest Cup Is Exhausting

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I arrived in Saskatoon Thursday noon for Prairie Medicinal Harvest Cup and didn’t stop inhaling until the wee hours of Monday morning. The friendly people of the prairie provinces not only puff professionally, but they have amazing hospitality and pride in their homegrown marijuana.

Today, I’m brutally exhausted from hosting a three day cannabis tasting festival with the Pot TV crew. My left shoulder is barely working, my brain tumor has deafened my left ear completely and my fibromyaliga is running rampant – however I wouldn’t change a damn thing.

Thursday afternoon standing on the Odeon stage by myself I came to the quick realization attendees were coming not just for cannabis, but to be entertained. Like a pro wrestler I’ll put my body on the line to bring cannabis cheer and ganja good times because my mama made me for one thing to get up stage and perform shit hot.

I’m glad I packed my 12 inch platform boots and a trunk of cool outfits, but my vintage senses were tingling. Something was out there and it turned out to be a 1977 Fisher Price projector for children 4-10. Still in the box with a Value Village price tag of $34.95. I also found a watch with a hemp wristband and a boa of sorts.

Too Much Fun!Standing on the Odeon stage (which will have Hanson and Matthew Good Band on it next) I decided to bring the best ganja game ever…and not jump off it. I cranked this weekend not just to pay-per-view levels, but beyond any 4/20 rally I’ve hosted.

My body feels black and blue, but thankfully the prairie cannabis and dabs are top tier. The blueberry bho was a necessary relief and it kept me going. Not sure how I would have made it through the weekend without Blueberry. Hwy 10 had some of the best DJ Short Blueberry buds everah.

I’ve only experienced the greatness of Head to Head, who knew there were other equally as good. Twenty something strains from my guidebook were grown in Canada’s flatlands.

Many had only seen or heard how much awesomeness is had in Canada’s cannabis capitals. This weekend people from these capitals descended on Saskatoon to bring the cannabis culture. The more Jeremiah, Opus and I spend together the better our Pot TV shows are.

Skunk Funk owner Jeff Lundstrum has been too many, many cannabis competitions and has cherry picked some of the best ideas. The late start time was greatly appreciated!Jeff Lundstrum

The judge’s ballot is exactly what an author of Marijuana Smoker’s Guidebook wants to see. Next year I would like to sponsor it. The ballot was highly detailed and I really enjoyed the role of weed whip. Encouraging and explaining the importance of voting for your best marijuana strain.

These prairie boys take a very quiet pride in their growing.

Jeff really stressed to me the importance of judging. He knew exactly how many ballots were distributed (100) and wanted a solid return. He was almost in tears on Sunday when the ballot returns were in (60). I got a big bear hug and he said, “They did it Matt! They did it!” The attendees were given a job and didn’t disappoint.

Physically and mentally exhausted I’ll be mellowing the next few weeks. The key is gentle stretching, plenty of rest (fibromyalgia will act up if I stay in bed too long tho) and freshly squeezed juices. I’m glad I’ve learned how to manage my health because it allows me to do incredibly fun things and then quietly recover.

Mernagh Does Acid

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I haven’t updated my personal blog since the summer and it’s kind of shocking to suddenly stop publishing. There are close to 500 posts on the site, which works out to 100 posts a year since the site’s inception or approximately two posts a week.

During my downtime I bought some Acid. Not the drug, but a WordPress theme that is exactly what I was seeking. It’s intense, bright, responsive and boldly different.

Gone is the old news style theme and concept.

It’s not just a visual effect I was seeking, but something new to energize me creatively. I needed a whole new outlook in my creative publishing process. Mernagh is going to become a personal life with weed blog. Don’t fret, I’ll be using other online media outlets to publish my plethora of fantastic cannabis content. I’ve been writing up a storm lately for Cannabis Culture and Green Candy Press has arranged marijuana reviews to begin appearing on several weedy websites.

Like any good trip there’s a road map, but I’m not exactly sure where this weird and crazy adventure is going to go.

Buy a ticket and take a ride with me by subscribing.

Matt Mernagh

Seizures Throw Me Off All Week

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People who follow my Twitter account were wondering where I was last Friday because I wasn’t my usual social media self. Especially those who saw my last Tweet about an attack in the morning. That Tweet before a series of seizures Friday and Saturday helps me put my health in focus. I’m still reeling from my seizure disorder, which has decided to flare up large, with two full days missing from my life.

Mernagh.ca Logo

Just over 9,000 people follow me for my frequent weedy updates and not seeing any for three days – had many concerned – especially the Tweeps I interact with on a daily basis. New follows are always encouraged to send me a message, reply or re-tweet something to get the follow back. I woke up again Saturday morning feeling like the reset button on my mind was hit – unaware it was Saturday. The physical pain from shaking violently in bed all day made me aware I was suffering from seizures. I opted to just go back to bed – where I spent the day again unconscious. As my roomie says, if I’m too ill to get out of bed to medicate with marijuana something must be really wrong. Well, I didn’t wake again until Sunday and that’s when friends’ really began to notice I wasn’t my social media self.
I’m always online updating statuses, posting blogs, interacting with friends via Tweets and FB Chats, but here I had missed three days straight. Having two really serious seizure days I opted to visit Toronto Western Hospital. University Health Network has my medical records that show I have rare brain tumor and emergency room physicians at TWH can read my well documented medical history then determine a course of action. Usually just wait and watch.
On Monday I went to visit my family doctor and we’ll determine in 10 days whether to send me to the epilepsy clinic based on bloodwork. My prescription medication has been changed and it’s currently causing me some problems too. I’m staying home plenty and watching Netflix and reading Hubspot marketing case studies from bed. It’s really cut down on my ability to grow marijuana.
Though I was under the weather last weekend, my website continues to earn a residual income, that I’ve decided to focus on earning interest like income from my weedy words, photos and videos and need friends to subscribe to my e-letters and share my work.
The Hubspot account from Pixel Dreams will allow me to learn digital marketing ideas that are successful and apply them to my bud blogging business and to their select clients on days when I’m feeling healthy.
People who want to pitch in to my health are encouraged to share their favorite posts on their FaceBook or Twitter.

Getting Grammatically Correct With Kush

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Yesterday during a session I began thinking about rules of grammar and ganja. I was writing my field guide to marijuana strains for Green Candy when my mind started to wander. Now I’m about half way through sampling cannabis strains and penning my guide when I realized there could be a grammar error through the whole thing when writing about multiple kush strains. So I sent out a Tweet hoping for some insight from my followers. The response was amazing.

Purple Kush

When writing about multiple strains of kush, is it, Kushs with the ‘s’ or Kushes with the ‘es.’ That’s because kush is the overall ganja generic term for any strain that is in the kush family. For example, Master Kush, Purple Kush, OG Kush, Pink Kush, Deadhead Kush, are all “kush,” but are they “kushes” or “kushs.”
Say you have OG Kush and Purple Kush, do you tweet I got the kushes or I got the kushs or the standard I got the kush. If you are writing a marijuana review and comparing two kush strains do you write “kushs” or “kushes.”
“Kushes, I believe.” Tweeted my friend Dominque Bustos.
NaNaNancyLynn Tweeted, “hahaha, it would be kushes.” Then adding another Tweet, “Unless you were trying to show ownership ie The Kush’s pot.
“I would think that the plural for kush is kush, just as the plural for marijuana is marijuana.” Tweet Amy of Yeo. Kush is a type of marijuana. There are many kinds of kush strains, just like there is wine and many kinds of wine for wines. She responded, “LOL! I think you’re right, because there can be a plural for, say, types of merlot: merlots.”
This morning I looked up the answer on Meredith Gramar Review. Originally I was going to call the Toronto reference library and ask for their input, but opted not too. I figure the site had the answer I was looking for, but anyone in a first year University english should ask their professor or teaching assistant the question.  However, it is indeed “es.” Words ending with “sh” when showing the plural we add an “es.” Here is a ganja grammar example.
Kush – singular stoner word for kush
Kushes – when you have two strains or more of kush it is referred to as “kushes.”
Thank you everyone for tweeting to my weird and crazy inquiry.

Deadhead Kush

R v. Mernagh Ontario Court of Appeal Dates To Change

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After spending a week hunkering down on our response for the R v. Mernagh appeal, Paul Lewin and myself have decided more time is needed to respond to the prosecutor’s fifty-four page factum. I began growing my appeal playoff beard and got my hair cut respectable. We were getting our eye of the tiger on and practicing putting on headbands. Now like George St. Pierre we’ve had to back out. So, new Ontario Court of Appeal dates will be chosen, probably in six to eight months from now. Two nice summer days would be great because we can smoke out the Osgoode Hall grounds before, during and after court. No one wants to smoke joints outside in March.

Yes, I know many people will be disappointed to read R v. Mernagh dates are changing. Some people have already booked off work. Then there are those people charged with a cannabis crime who are waiting on the outcome of my precedent setting case having their fate postponed.
We don’t want to rush our written response to Ontario Court of Appeal justices. Our patient witnesses agree. SB gave us our new moto, “Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.” It’d be wonderful goal to have those witnesses who would like to attend the appeal in person to be sitting in the front row.
Besides Lewin, Canadian Civil Liberties Association and HIV AIDS Legal Clinic Ontario are also preparing factums.   The three justices reviewing the appeal will rely heavily on the prosecutor, our’s and intervener’s factums – not the two days of oral arguments – to form their opinions. Only evidence presented at my trial will be reviewed. No new stats. No new problems. No proposed changes. We created a small mountain of transcripts, 3200 pages worth, which both sides will use as ammunition. It’s going to take us time to review the evidence and carefully craft our written response.
I’ll announce dates when I get them.

Canada Border Service Agent Raid Foiled

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Six Canada Border Services Agency officer armed with sheriff like badges strapped around their necks plainclothes police officer style attempted to burst into my home today without a warrant. I refused to let them in. I don’t care who, what agency, or what you’re looking for, if you’re wearing a badge, you’re not welcome in my home without a warrant. Let’s go one step further, I’m not going to answer your questions either.
Plenty of people have expressed alarm or disbelief they were immigration officers, but I had a legal professional who works in refugee law give them a call and inquire. He does this on behalf of refugee claimants daily, today was the first time he used his legal skills for a cannabis champion of the world. He confirmed they were at my address and explained my delicate situation. I emailed my criminal attorney Paul Lewin to give him a heads up. The cannabis champion is lawyered up baby!
This is how my encounter with CBSA went down because it felt very much like a police raid.
Agent with a badge on his neck banging on the back door. “Can you let me in I’m a federal immigration officer?”
Me seeing a cop through the window. “Not without a warrant.”
Agent perplexed, “I’m not a cop.”
Me, “You’re wearing a badge.”
Agent, “This isn’t about you.”
Me, “Then I don’t need to let you in and I don’t need to answer your questions.”
Getting all flustered, but getting all the more tougher talking. “I’m a federal immigration agent.”
Me, “I’m Matt Mernagh. M-E-R-N-A-G-H. Do you have a business card for my lawyer?”
Angered agent, “Are you going to let me in?”
Me, “Do you have a warrant or a business card.”
Agent, “No.”
Me, “Well you’re acting all cop like and I’d appreciate if you speak to my lawyer Paul Lewin. L-E-W-I-N.”
Agent, “Why do you have lawyer. People don’t just have lawyers. Do you have warrants?”
Me, “Why don’t you CPIC (Canadian Police Intelligent Center) me and find out who I am.”
At this point I reached for my HTC Sensation to get Lewin’s phone number. Guess they thought I was going for the camera because they beat a hasty retreat before I could take photos. My whiteness, legal knowledge and super phone foiled their efforts at an unlawful entry. It’s easy to see this duo shaking down legal and illegal Toronto residents, who just don’t know better.In fact they admitted later on the phone having no problems forcing their way into people’s home. I’m kind of shaken up by it.
After smoking a joint of UK Cheese I went out to grab my morning coffee. On my way home I spotted a Ford Fusion with heavy tinted windows skulking about Pimp Pot Palace. Well, I figured, better get some photographic evidence. That’s when they speed off. Parked again. So I shooed them away.
No One Is Illegal Toronto chapter had a postering campaign in my hood warning of these tactics. Explaining in several languages that these agents are not police nor do you have to stop to talk them. I’m not going to let someone I don’t know into my home and neither should you!
After my immigration lawyer buddy straightened them out, I spoke with the supervisor who said they weren’t looking for medical marijuana. My meds are easily in the open and I believe they would have called Toronto Police Service given their cop routine. I asked them who lets strangers into their home early in the morning? The Canadian Border Services Agency officer told me flat out everyone. Only people who have something to hide don’t let them in, he said.
We really need to change this attitude. I’d recommend all Canadians, especially with the Conservative creeps in office, not to let anyone they don’t know into their home. Don’t be bullied into anything. It’s difficult not to feel intimidated. I never figured I’d experience an actual immigration raid, but today I have. Yet another weird and crazy episode in the life of matt mernagh.